Q: Does @WeirdHorse ever get ridden?
A: I'll answer one more because I like Simon. Yes, in the summer.
Q: What's the oddest animal you've ever witnessed?
A: I once saw a giraffe that defecated Beats by Dre. Regards
Q: do you think @WeirdHorse would taste good in a burger?
A: His back tastes disgusting. Regards.
His back tastes disgusting. Regards.
Q: Who do you look up to as a role model?
A: My 6'6" neighbour, Sarah Role. She models for NEXT. Regards.
Q: How much do you weigh?
A: A ludicrous mass. It's repellent. Regards.
Q: Could I come take @WeirdHorse for a ride out on the farm one day?
A: Speak to him. Regards.
Q: Why so Baffled mr Farmer
A: Odd animals.
Q: have you ever molested any of your animals?
A: Thrice daily. Regards.
Q: My friend @SarahMurph1 is a big fan @BaffledFarmer does she get a mention?!
Q: have you and weird horse ever shared any intimate moments?
A: I'm naked. Regards.
Q: how big is Weird Horses penis?
A: I'm his penis. 5 foot 6. RT
Q: When does your Q&A finish?
A: 22:30. Regards.
Q: Who is your favourite celebrity farmer?
A: Sally Gunnell.
Q: What's your favourite vegetable?
A: Mince Pies.
Q: Can you draw me a picture please?
A: What lead type?
Q: What are your thoughts regarding marriage equality?
A: I adore gay swans. Come swan come all. Regards
Q: do you have an erection?
A: I do now. Regards.
Q: is @WeirdHorse a good singer?
A: We're recording a song at the moment. Stay tuned. Regards.
Q: How do you feel about being @WeirdHorse 's sidekick? Any plans to sell him to Findus?
Q: would you get weird horse a nice little mare friend ?
A: Only if we could share. Regards.
Q: Why do you never bring Horse any snacks these days?
A: He's learned to source his own organically.
Q: heard-tell of @WeirdHorse going to Stud; true or false? How much?
Q: Regarding your regards, I find them regardingly regardful. Do you have any tips on how I can be a better regarder?
Q: How did Pancake Day debrief go?
A: Solidly. Regards.
Q: is Weird Farm a remotely profitable enterprise?
A: Seriously, no. I do it because my horse loves it.
Q: Why do you put regards at the end off all your comments?
A: Karma. Regards.
Q: do you have any regrets?
A: I shot a moth in 1988. Regards.
Q: Does Horse upset you calling you a tosser?
A: Yes and vice-versa. Regards.
Q: when is wierd horse in court for that murder charge?
A: Last July. He was found not guilty. Regards.
Q: are you from the UK?
A: Yes. Regards.
Q: Do one legged ducks swim in circles?
A: Negative. Ponds. Regards.
Q: Will weird horse end up in a frozen lasagne one day?
A: *tears* Regards.
Q: do you supply dead animals to tesco?
A: Negative. Vice-versa. Regards.
Q: do make up the time when your crops grow stalking jay Sean on YouTube ?
A: False. Regards.
Q: rumours have it you dry bummed peaches geldof. Is this true ? #LAD
A: False. I masturbate over swans.
Q: would you sell me any of your animals?
A: 3 for 2 on slugs. Regards.
Q: How many ants has Weird Horse trodden on during his time on the farm?
A: Enough to fill a big bath.
Q: Is @WeirdHorse #Gelded
A: Partially. Regards.
Q: who cuts your hair?
A: Pauline Quirk. Regards.
Q: is there a Mrs. Baffled farmer??
A: She left me last year. Living in Hull with our former dentist, Barry. Regards.
Q: is the horse the weirdest of your animals?
A: No. I have a goat with 7 legs. It speaks French. Regards.
Q: do you have a tractor?
A: Yes. It has massive wheels. Regards.
Q: have you ever had a normal horse?
A: No. I had another horse in the 80s but it had an udder. Regards.
Q: how many nipples does a cow have
A: Udder nonsense.
Q: how long have you had your farm?
A: I inherited the plot from my father, Pauline. Regards.
Q: Why do you follow Niall Horan?
A: He and I used to collect moths in the 90s. Regards.
Q: do you have any other weird animals?
A: Yes. I'm getting them into Twitter shortly. Regards.
Q: what languages can you speak ?
A: English, Dutch and Wasp. Regards.
Q: will you lend me your pitch fork please, mines broken, regards.
A: Join the queue. Regards.
Q: do you own a pony?
A: I have 17 chickens. Regards.
Q: What advice would you give someone hoping to become more like yourself?
A: Overeat and opt for denim.
Q: How baffled are you from a scale of 1 to tractor are you with my question?
A: Parsnip. Regards.
Q: exactly how baffled are you?
A: Doctors say that I'm almost terminally baffled. Regards.
Q: is #weirdhorse a gelding?
A: He'll be gelding no dinner if he misbehaves. Regards.
Q: how many weird horses do you have?
A: One and he stinks. Regards.
Q: How old is @WeirdHorse?
A: He turns 10 in July. Regards.
Q: Are you wearing clothes?
A: A green sock on my right foot and a tie. Otherwise de-clothed. Regards.