Q:           Does @WeirdHorse ever get ridden?
A:            I'll answer one more because I like Simon. Yes, in the summer.

Q:           What's the oddest animal you've ever witnessed?
A:            I once saw a giraffe that defecated Beats by Dre. Regards

Q:           do you think @WeirdHorse would taste good in a burger?
A:            His back tastes disgusting. Regards.
His back tastes disgusting. Regards.

Q:           Who do you look up to as a role model?
A:            My 6'6" neighbour, Sarah Role. She models for NEXT. Regards.

Q:           How much do you weigh?
A:            A ludicrous mass. It's repellent. Regards.

Q:           Could I come take @WeirdHorse for a ride out on the farm one day?
A:            Speak to him. Regards.

Q:           Why so Baffled mr Farmer
A:            Odd animals.

Q:           have you ever molested any of your animals?
A:            Thrice daily. Regards.

Q:           My friend @SarahMurph1 is a big fan @BaffledFarmer does she get a mention?!
A:            Yes

Q:           have you and weird horse ever shared any intimate moments?
A:            I'm naked. Regards.

Q:           how big is Weird Horses penis?
A:            I'm his penis. 5 foot 6. RT

Q:           When does your Q&A finish?
A:            22:30. Regards.
Q:           Who is your favourite celebrity farmer?
A:            Sally Gunnell.

Q:           What's your favourite vegetable?
A:            Mince Pies.

Q:           Can you draw me a picture please?
A:            What lead type?

Q:           What are your thoughts regarding marriage equality?
A:            I adore gay swans. Come swan come all. Regards

Q:           do you have an erection?
A:            I do now. Regards.

Q:           is @WeirdHorse a good singer?
A:            We're recording a song at the moment. Stay tuned. Regards.

Q:           How do you feel about being @WeirdHorse 's sidekick? Any plans to sell him to Findus?
A:            Negative.

Q:           would you get weird horse a nice little mare friend ?
A:            Only if we could share. Regards.

Q:           Why do you never bring Horse any snacks these days?
A:            He's learned to source his own organically.

Q:           heard-tell of @WeirdHorse going to Stud; true or false? How much?
A:            False.

Q:           Regarding your regards, I find them regardingly regardful. Do you have any tips on how I can be a better regarder?
A:            Several.

Q:           How did Pancake Day debrief go?
A:            Solidly. Regards.

Q:           is Weird Farm a remotely profitable enterprise?
A:            Seriously, no. I do it because my horse loves it.

Q:           Why do you put regards at the end off all your comments?
A:            Karma. Regards.

Q:           do you have any regrets?
A:            I shot a moth in 1988. Regards.

Q:           Does Horse upset you calling you a tosser?
A:            Yes and vice-versa. Regards.

Q:           when is wierd horse in court for that murder charge?
A:            Last July. He was found not guilty. Regards.

Q:           are you from the UK?
A:            Yes. Regards.

Q:           Do one legged ducks swim in circles?
A:            Negative. Ponds. Regards.

Q:           Will weird horse end up in a frozen lasagne one day?
A:            *tears* Regards.

Q:           do you supply dead animals to tesco?
A:            Negative. Vice-versa. Regards.

Q:           do make up the time when your crops grow stalking jay Sean on YouTube ?
A:            False. Regards.

Q:           rumours have it you dry bummed peaches geldof. Is this true ? #LAD
A:            False. I masturbate over swans.

Q:           would you sell me any of your animals?
A:            3 for 2 on slugs. Regards.

Q:           How many ants has Weird Horse trodden on during his time on the farm?
A:            Enough to fill a big bath.

Q:           Is @WeirdHorse #Gelded
A:            Partially. Regards.

Q:           who cuts your hair?
A:            Pauline Quirk. Regards.

Q:           is there a Mrs. Baffled farmer??
A:            She left me last year. Living in Hull with our former dentist, Barry. Regards.

Q:           is the horse the weirdest of your animals?
A:            No. I have a goat with 7 legs. It speaks French. Regards.

Q:           do you have a tractor?
A:            Yes. It has massive wheels. Regards.

Q:           have you ever had a normal horse?
A:            No. I had another horse in the 80s but it had an udder. Regards.

Q:           how many nipples does a cow have
A:            Udder nonsense.

Q:           how long have you had your farm?
A:            I inherited the plot from my father, Pauline. Regards.

Q:           Why do you follow Niall Horan?
A:            He and I used to collect moths in the 90s. Regards.

Q:           do you have any other weird animals?
A:           Yes. I'm getting them into Twitter shortly. Regards.

Q:           what languages can you speak ?
A:            English, Dutch and Wasp. Regards.

Q:           will you lend me your pitch fork please, mines broken, regards.
A:            Join the queue. Regards.

Q:           do you own a pony?
A:            I have 17 chickens. Regards.

Q:           What advice would you give someone hoping to become more like yourself?
A:            Overeat and opt for denim.

Q:           How baffled are you from a scale of 1 to tractor are you with my question?
A:            Parsnip. Regards.

Q:           exactly how baffled are you?
A:            Doctors say that I'm almost terminally baffled. Regards.

Q:           is #weirdhorse a gelding?
A:            He'll be gelding no dinner if he misbehaves. Regards.

Q:           how many weird horses do you have?
A:            One and he stinks. Regards.

Q:           How old is @WeirdHorse?
A:            He turns 10 in July. Regards.

Q:           Are you wearing clothes?
A:            A green sock on my right foot and a tie. Otherwise de-clothed. Regards.